Before I put this off yet another day that turns into another week, month...

It's just slipping so fast. And all of the little nuances that life offers keep me so busy sometimes I don't just be, and soak up what is good in life. And it is so easy to focus on what isn't. And those things aren't going away anytime soon. But, my children are changing oh so much lately.

I think especially now, since little guy has turned TWO!, he is just a completely different kid. And he's hilarious. And he's oh! so snugly. And he makes my heart melt over and over again, only as much as he makes me question my ability to stay at home and maintain any sense of sanity. Because as I've said before, I just never had to deal with the difficulty that often comes with this age with Holland. And, I just chalked it up to being such a fantastic mama. HA! Now, I realize that I have two kids that both bring equal parts overwhelming delight and utter frustration. But, I'm here. And they are little people that love me so much and need me for their everything. And I want more than anything to be that. So, I realize that each day with have some amazing highlights and times that make my heart complete, and then there will be moments of complete chaos that make me want to scream and then run outside. But, I won't. We'll work through the minor instance and then shortly, we'll all be laughing and skipping together.

Now for the specifics, I'll be yearning for five years (or shorter!) from now... I can't even believe how incredibly reflective and wise my sweet girl is. Lately she has voiced way too much concern about growing up. I can't recall all of the recent conversations, but one that comes to mind, "Mom I know that Maryanne (her good friend, who just turned 4) is cuter than me." Me "You are both amazing girls, why do you think that?" H: "Because she's younger than me. And everyone likes kids that are younger more. And I'm going to get older first. And then I'm going to be a mom and just have to work all day long, like you. " Where did that come from?! But, she's so smart. And she understands so much. And I love how she randomly tells me that she loves me. And I love how nothing makes her more happy than for her and I to sing a conversation back and forth. And I love that tonight after going to Trader Joe's, she grabbed my hand in the parking lot and insisted we skip together to the van. She's an amazing kid. And sometimes her emotions rise to the top so very fast, but she's five. And what may seem like such a little thing to me is incredibly huge to her. But, that's being five. And I'll enjoy her, emotions and all, because before I blink, she will be six.

And oh, my sweet and crazy boy... He is so attached to me. And I inwardly just love that. He stopped nursing a few weeks ago, after I left town for four nights. And I didn't think he would ever be keen to that. But, he didn't even ask. He just became even more attached to me. And so we have replaced nursing with so many cuddles. And when he is feeling like his cup is nearing empty, he comes to my legs and asks to be held and then just digs into my neck like it is going away. I. Love. That. And there are times that I'm frantically trying to get out of the house and I just don't have the time, and he NEEDS me to just stop. And hold him. But, for whatever reason, I can't. And the poor, sweet boy just loses it. He's screaming and yelling and telling me in his best vocabulary (which totally gets his point across these days...) to just hold him and love him. And in retrospect, I just need to as often as I can. There are some times, when I do need to get out the door to work, or somewhere else that won't wait, but I just need to remind myself that "babies don't keep"...

I had attempted to make a blog entry a few weeks before T's 2nd birthday on my phone. For whatever reason (most likely, it was too long!), it never posted. But, at the time we had been moderately concerned that Talin's vocabulary was on the lower end of the "normal" spectrum. Then I read that it was average for a kid turning two to have a vocab of 80 words. So, I started to jot them all down. And he was way past! And that was a few weeks before he turned two... Since then- oh my! He can and does say pretty much anything! He is stringing words together all the time. Tonight, the screen saver, that is a slideshow of my pictures, came on a picture of T as a 4ish month baby came on. I said, "That is you as a little baby!" And Talin says, " I baby! I cute!" And he was. And he is!

Sure enough; it's fall, ya'll

Again; I blinked and months passed. And millions of moments that were seemingly ordinary at the time, already I want to go back and relive. Granted, there are more than a few moments that I am more than happy to never revisit, (even though I likely will!) but for the most part, there have been a lot of happy times.

Talin likes to jump back and forth from totally exasperating me to just making me the most contented, loved mama ever. I can not wait for his phase of throwing anything and everything to be over. If he gets tired or frustrated, he'll throw whatever he can. I am constantly picking up the pretend food and putting it away in its container, and then putting it up high on the bookshelf. Today, he got smart. He took his stool over, grabbed the box, took it down and chucked it.

But then, not long after, both the kids were outside playing. Holland stubbed her toe and was hurting and sat down on the deck. Talin sat down next to her, rubbing her back so sweetly and then kissed her back. It was endearing. He really has the sweetest soft side.

In the last month, Holland started and stopped another year of preschool. She seemed to enjoy it and liked it "okay", but everyday would say how she didn't want to go and wanted to go back to her old preschool. And it is totally different from her experience she was accustomed to. So, I get it. She didn't get all the free time she had associated with preschool. And in the month's time, she had yet to make any real friends. Which, is not common for my girl that makes a friend every time that she goes to the playground. Not to mention that financially it was nearly impossible for us to swing. Which I would have managed it somehow, if I felt we were getting more out of it than putting into the situation. But, we weren't. So, instead we have enrolled her once a week in a ballet/tap class that my friend is teaching. She loves that she already knows her teacher! And she will even get to ride with her teacher to class for the time being! She is still doing swim lessons as well, but after she turns five (four days!!!!!), the price will go up, so researching if we should switch to another facility...

So, yes- my girl is turning FIVE! How the heck can I already be the mama to a five year old?! It is terribly exciting and unreal. I am saddened that my baby girl is slipping away more everyday, but sometimes the conversations we have, and her wit and charm just amaze me.

Disappearing Summer

It is just unfathomable to me that it is somehow already the middle of August. We have had very few Summer feeling days despite the rest of the country dealing with record breaking temps. Maybe we can hold out for at least weeks. One can hope!!

I feel like I never have time to just sit down and release everything in my head. I'm still adjusting to having Joe's schedule change. Since the restaurant is now serving dinner, he leaves around 8am every day, getting home at 8 or later. Makes for a long day for this mama!

And everyday most definitely has its share of ups and downs. So often Holland and Talin are the happiest siblings. ever. And they run around and squeal in delight and fall into some wonderfully imaginative game instantly. They both just love bubbles and Talin is amazing at blowing his own bubbles! Or, they'll play outside randomly each running inside to bring me a leaf that they picked from a bush. Or, Holland will pretend to be a teacher and "teach" Talin how to "read" and all sorts of other things. While, he attentively is the eager student. It's moments like these that make my heart swell.

But, of course, then out of the blue, Talin will try to grab something that Holland has. And Holland over reacts knocking Talin on the floor. And he starts crying because his feelings and body are hurt. And Holland is crying and yelling because Talin has crumpled up the paper that was in her hands. And she wants me to find some tape right now to fix it. But, Talin refuses to let me put him down. And I have food in the oven that I need to take out and the buzzer is beeping. But both kids are screaming and crying. And my phone is ringing. And all of a sudden, I am aware that I haven't peed in God knows how long and I need to go. Ah, it's moments like these that make me wonder how I will get through the day!

But, somehow we do get through the day. And, hopefully before long, something wonderful will happen. Or at least at some point, most likely not when I would choose, they will both be peacefully asleep and I think to myself what a lucky mama I really am.

And, oh how they are growing so fast! I can't even begin to mention all of the new things that Talin has learned in a seemingly crazy short time. His comprehension is just crazy impressive. You can ask him to do just about anything and he either runs and gets what you tell him to, or brings a cup to Holland, etc or he just looks at me, shakes his head and says, Noooo!" with such attitude! He still will not say "dad" even though he totally can. He prefers to call dad, "mom" and it cracks me up. I did think that the week where instead of calling him a name and just making his piggie sound if you asked him to say "dad" was even funnier though!

He loves to wear hats, except his sun hat. He really loves a white "Easter" hat with flowers all over it. And I have to admit, he looks adorable in it! He loves to "count" before he does anything, by saying, "duh, duh, duh, GO!" And then he will run or do whatever he going to do, and then yell, "YEAHHHH!" And he has a way of saying "bye-byyyyyaaah" with a crazy cute high pitch second syllable that melts my heart.

And now it's much to late for my brain to think of anything else! Hopefully it won't be Fall before I have time to share more!

Bragging Rights

Well, that was easy enough! I will definitely try to post those little moments that make life special more frequently now. My, how technology helps the cause. Thanks iphone!

I wish I could just capture all the thoughts in my head I have had over the last month and somehow manage to get them down on paper, or er... screen. Talin has seriously turned into the silliest boy full of some serious personality lately. Others often use the word smug to describe him. Oh, how he is! He can just have the most deadpan expression while looking you in the eye and doing something he knows is funny. He loves to be a little stunt man, all while having this hilarious, smug expression on his face. He often seems SO much wiser than his almost 19 months.

And again, he is learning things left and right. He can now point to just about any body part (eyes, nose, head, ears, tongue, fingers, belly, toes, etc) knows many animal sounds (pig, monkey (ooh-ooh-ah, ah!), dog, kitty, lion, horse, owl and more) and has really just absorbed a phenomenal amount of awareness recently. He has a serious love for his favorite shoes- Vans with blue hippos. Do not try to put another pair on him- he hates them all! He will grab his shoes and yell "shh" and want them on. And as soon as the shoes are on, he is grabbing the front door knob and ready to get out the door.

And my second bragging right of the day... This weekend Holland had her first little performance from her ballet she has taken since January. She was in a production of, "The Mermaid" and her class was only onstage a few minutes, but her dedication was just great. She just took the whole ballet thing so seriously. She really enjoyed being a little ballerina and now just asks repeatedly when she will get a chance to be in the Nutcracker. But, we are going to take a little ballet break and might sign her up for gymnastics this week!

And again, I have to brag that my two are just amazing siblings. There are the occasional tears or shouting matches, but seriously, 85% of the time they are golden. Holland is such a fantastic big sister who earnestly tries to make her little brother happy. And Talin just has so much adoration for his big sister and lives to have her attention (which he almost always has.) No one can cure the Talin blues like Holland. He can have him from full out crying to laughing hysterically in seconds. I am such a lucky mama to have these two.

Check out my style!!
That is one of Holland's favorite sayings as of late and it cracks me up every time! I finally joined the tech world we live in and got a new phone. What fun! So I am going to test to see if it really is this easy to post to my blog. If it is, maybe o can finally start sharing the little tid bits that make my heart warm each day.

Forgotton words and videos

I have no bit of my brain left in me at this point in the night... But, I have been thinking about a few words I forgot to mention in my last post that Talin is currently saying and I know in a year, or two or 4 I will want to read back on this. (and this mama doesn't write anything down on paper anymore; oh no!) Drumroll please....:

hot (and he says it so cute always using his hand to show that he feels something hot, or pretends to...)
cheese (see video below!)
poo poo (and he will point at his bum when he says this.)

Maybe I will try to remember to update on here as I recall the other new words.

I am also going to attach a video of Holland the other evening. She had made an awesome song, "Roar goes the Lion" that had quite a few verses, but pretty much just said that over and over once I got out the camera. Oh well; still cute...

Busy days!

How can the month of May almost be over? How?! Time is going by much too quickly for my liking. Everyday seems to jam-packed with places to go, people to see... Holland is busy taking both ballet and swim lessons and her preschool ended last week. And, we often have playdates and I have been working at the restaurant some. I often feel like I am constantly rushing and hurrying my littles off to some other destination. So, the times that we can just stay and be are actually rather nice! I am feeling guilty because both today and last Wednesday we skipped swim lessons simply because Talin was still napping and I did not have the energy to rush off again. Ah well...

Lately everytime I look at Talin I am convinced he has grown even more. He is figuring things out so well and is a very silly guy. He found a pair of little sandles he had outgrown and insisted that they belonged on the counter in the kitchen in front of the sink today. If I tried to move them, he threw a little fit. Sit them back, he was completely pleased. He also has quite the hankering for throwing things away, or putting things in either the bathtub or toilet. It is pretty handy when he finds a small piece of paper and throws it away. Not so much for the wii remote that is now forever gone.

Holland's first little ballet performance is coming up in a few weeks. It is a little insane how her approx 3 min onstage is causing so much time and energy! She will be a catfish in "The Little Mermaid". She loves ballet and takes her dancing very seriously. It will be fun to watch the entire production but I won't lie; I will be happy to have the stress over.

I was trying to think of Talin's current vocab. Here is what I can think off the top my head:
go, bye, mama, dad, uh-oh, bubble, more, ball, snack, whee, hi, hello, nigh-night, peek a boo, book

I know he is saying a lot more that I am not paying enough attention to and not able to discern what it is... But, I know that he is definitely trying to communicate much more than we are aware. Up until about 2 weeks ago, he had the ability to say words but just showed no desire to talk much. It is so exciting watching him mimic us and repeat whatever we say. His snoring is totally adorable!