Before I put this off yet another day that turns into another week, month...

It's just slipping so fast. And all of the little nuances that life offers keep me so busy sometimes I don't just be, and soak up what is good in life. And it is so easy to focus on what isn't. And those things aren't going away anytime soon. But, my children are changing oh so much lately.

I think especially now, since little guy has turned TWO!, he is just a completely different kid. And he's hilarious. And he's oh! so snugly. And he makes my heart melt over and over again, only as much as he makes me question my ability to stay at home and maintain any sense of sanity. Because as I've said before, I just never had to deal with the difficulty that often comes with this age with Holland. And, I just chalked it up to being such a fantastic mama. HA! Now, I realize that I have two kids that both bring equal parts overwhelming delight and utter frustration. But, I'm here. And they are little people that love me so much and need me for their everything. And I want more than anything to be that. So, I realize that each day with have some amazing highlights and times that make my heart complete, and then there will be moments of complete chaos that make me want to scream and then run outside. But, I won't. We'll work through the minor instance and then shortly, we'll all be laughing and skipping together.

Now for the specifics, I'll be yearning for five years (or shorter!) from now... I can't even believe how incredibly reflective and wise my sweet girl is. Lately she has voiced way too much concern about growing up. I can't recall all of the recent conversations, but one that comes to mind, "Mom I know that Maryanne (her good friend, who just turned 4) is cuter than me." Me "You are both amazing girls, why do you think that?" H: "Because she's younger than me. And everyone likes kids that are younger more. And I'm going to get older first. And then I'm going to be a mom and just have to work all day long, like you. " Where did that come from?! But, she's so smart. And she understands so much. And I love how she randomly tells me that she loves me. And I love how nothing makes her more happy than for her and I to sing a conversation back and forth. And I love that tonight after going to Trader Joe's, she grabbed my hand in the parking lot and insisted we skip together to the van. She's an amazing kid. And sometimes her emotions rise to the top so very fast, but she's five. And what may seem like such a little thing to me is incredibly huge to her. But, that's being five. And I'll enjoy her, emotions and all, because before I blink, she will be six.

And oh, my sweet and crazy boy... He is so attached to me. And I inwardly just love that. He stopped nursing a few weeks ago, after I left town for four nights. And I didn't think he would ever be keen to that. But, he didn't even ask. He just became even more attached to me. And so we have replaced nursing with so many cuddles. And when he is feeling like his cup is nearing empty, he comes to my legs and asks to be held and then just digs into my neck like it is going away. I. Love. That. And there are times that I'm frantically trying to get out of the house and I just don't have the time, and he NEEDS me to just stop. And hold him. But, for whatever reason, I can't. And the poor, sweet boy just loses it. He's screaming and yelling and telling me in his best vocabulary (which totally gets his point across these days...) to just hold him and love him. And in retrospect, I just need to as often as I can. There are some times, when I do need to get out the door to work, or somewhere else that won't wait, but I just need to remind myself that "babies don't keep"...

I had attempted to make a blog entry a few weeks before T's 2nd birthday on my phone. For whatever reason (most likely, it was too long!), it never posted. But, at the time we had been moderately concerned that Talin's vocabulary was on the lower end of the "normal" spectrum. Then I read that it was average for a kid turning two to have a vocab of 80 words. So, I started to jot them all down. And he was way past! And that was a few weeks before he turned two... Since then- oh my! He can and does say pretty much anything! He is stringing words together all the time. Tonight, the screen saver, that is a slideshow of my pictures, came on a picture of T as a 4ish month baby came on. I said, "That is you as a little baby!" And Talin says, " I baby! I cute!" And he was. And he is!

Sure enough; it's fall, ya'll

Again; I blinked and months passed. And millions of moments that were seemingly ordinary at the time, already I want to go back and relive. Granted, there are more than a few moments that I am more than happy to never revisit, (even though I likely will!) but for the most part, there have been a lot of happy times.

Talin likes to jump back and forth from totally exasperating me to just making me the most contented, loved mama ever. I can not wait for his phase of throwing anything and everything to be over. If he gets tired or frustrated, he'll throw whatever he can. I am constantly picking up the pretend food and putting it away in its container, and then putting it up high on the bookshelf. Today, he got smart. He took his stool over, grabbed the box, took it down and chucked it.

But then, not long after, both the kids were outside playing. Holland stubbed her toe and was hurting and sat down on the deck. Talin sat down next to her, rubbing her back so sweetly and then kissed her back. It was endearing. He really has the sweetest soft side.

In the last month, Holland started and stopped another year of preschool. She seemed to enjoy it and liked it "okay", but everyday would say how she didn't want to go and wanted to go back to her old preschool. And it is totally different from her experience she was accustomed to. So, I get it. She didn't get all the free time she had associated with preschool. And in the month's time, she had yet to make any real friends. Which, is not common for my girl that makes a friend every time that she goes to the playground. Not to mention that financially it was nearly impossible for us to swing. Which I would have managed it somehow, if I felt we were getting more out of it than putting into the situation. But, we weren't. So, instead we have enrolled her once a week in a ballet/tap class that my friend is teaching. She loves that she already knows her teacher! And she will even get to ride with her teacher to class for the time being! She is still doing swim lessons as well, but after she turns five (four days!!!!!), the price will go up, so researching if we should switch to another facility...

So, yes- my girl is turning FIVE! How the heck can I already be the mama to a five year old?! It is terribly exciting and unreal. I am saddened that my baby girl is slipping away more everyday, but sometimes the conversations we have, and her wit and charm just amaze me.

Disappearing Summer

It is just unfathomable to me that it is somehow already the middle of August. We have had very few Summer feeling days despite the rest of the country dealing with record breaking temps. Maybe we can hold out for at least weeks. One can hope!!

I feel like I never have time to just sit down and release everything in my head. I'm still adjusting to having Joe's schedule change. Since the restaurant is now serving dinner, he leaves around 8am every day, getting home at 8 or later. Makes for a long day for this mama!

And everyday most definitely has its share of ups and downs. So often Holland and Talin are the happiest siblings. ever. And they run around and squeal in delight and fall into some wonderfully imaginative game instantly. They both just love bubbles and Talin is amazing at blowing his own bubbles! Or, they'll play outside randomly each running inside to bring me a leaf that they picked from a bush. Or, Holland will pretend to be a teacher and "teach" Talin how to "read" and all sorts of other things. While, he attentively is the eager student. It's moments like these that make my heart swell.

But, of course, then out of the blue, Talin will try to grab something that Holland has. And Holland over reacts knocking Talin on the floor. And he starts crying because his feelings and body are hurt. And Holland is crying and yelling because Talin has crumpled up the paper that was in her hands. And she wants me to find some tape right now to fix it. But, Talin refuses to let me put him down. And I have food in the oven that I need to take out and the buzzer is beeping. But both kids are screaming and crying. And my phone is ringing. And all of a sudden, I am aware that I haven't peed in God knows how long and I need to go. Ah, it's moments like these that make me wonder how I will get through the day!

But, somehow we do get through the day. And, hopefully before long, something wonderful will happen. Or at least at some point, most likely not when I would choose, they will both be peacefully asleep and I think to myself what a lucky mama I really am.

And, oh how they are growing so fast! I can't even begin to mention all of the new things that Talin has learned in a seemingly crazy short time. His comprehension is just crazy impressive. You can ask him to do just about anything and he either runs and gets what you tell him to, or brings a cup to Holland, etc or he just looks at me, shakes his head and says, Noooo!" with such attitude! He still will not say "dad" even though he totally can. He prefers to call dad, "mom" and it cracks me up. I did think that the week where instead of calling him a name and just making his piggie sound if you asked him to say "dad" was even funnier though!

He loves to wear hats, except his sun hat. He really loves a white "Easter" hat with flowers all over it. And I have to admit, he looks adorable in it! He loves to "count" before he does anything, by saying, "duh, duh, duh, GO!" And then he will run or do whatever he going to do, and then yell, "YEAHHHH!" And he has a way of saying "bye-byyyyyaaah" with a crazy cute high pitch second syllable that melts my heart.

And now it's much to late for my brain to think of anything else! Hopefully it won't be Fall before I have time to share more!

Bragging Rights

Well, that was easy enough! I will definitely try to post those little moments that make life special more frequently now. My, how technology helps the cause. Thanks iphone!

I wish I could just capture all the thoughts in my head I have had over the last month and somehow manage to get them down on paper, or er... screen. Talin has seriously turned into the silliest boy full of some serious personality lately. Others often use the word smug to describe him. Oh, how he is! He can just have the most deadpan expression while looking you in the eye and doing something he knows is funny. He loves to be a little stunt man, all while having this hilarious, smug expression on his face. He often seems SO much wiser than his almost 19 months.

And again, he is learning things left and right. He can now point to just about any body part (eyes, nose, head, ears, tongue, fingers, belly, toes, etc) knows many animal sounds (pig, monkey (ooh-ooh-ah, ah!), dog, kitty, lion, horse, owl and more) and has really just absorbed a phenomenal amount of awareness recently. He has a serious love for his favorite shoes- Vans with blue hippos. Do not try to put another pair on him- he hates them all! He will grab his shoes and yell "shh" and want them on. And as soon as the shoes are on, he is grabbing the front door knob and ready to get out the door.

And my second bragging right of the day... This weekend Holland had her first little performance from her ballet she has taken since January. She was in a production of, "The Mermaid" and her class was only onstage a few minutes, but her dedication was just great. She just took the whole ballet thing so seriously. She really enjoyed being a little ballerina and now just asks repeatedly when she will get a chance to be in the Nutcracker. But, we are going to take a little ballet break and might sign her up for gymnastics this week!

And again, I have to brag that my two are just amazing siblings. There are the occasional tears or shouting matches, but seriously, 85% of the time they are golden. Holland is such a fantastic big sister who earnestly tries to make her little brother happy. And Talin just has so much adoration for his big sister and lives to have her attention (which he almost always has.) No one can cure the Talin blues like Holland. He can have him from full out crying to laughing hysterically in seconds. I am such a lucky mama to have these two.

Check out my style!!
That is one of Holland's favorite sayings as of late and it cracks me up every time! I finally joined the tech world we live in and got a new phone. What fun! So I am going to test to see if it really is this easy to post to my blog. If it is, maybe o can finally start sharing the little tid bits that make my heart warm each day.

Forgotton words and videos

I have no bit of my brain left in me at this point in the night... But, I have been thinking about a few words I forgot to mention in my last post that Talin is currently saying and I know in a year, or two or 4 I will want to read back on this. (and this mama doesn't write anything down on paper anymore; oh no!) Drumroll please....:

hot (and he says it so cute always using his hand to show that he feels something hot, or pretends to...)
cheese (see video below!)
poo poo (and he will point at his bum when he says this.)

Maybe I will try to remember to update on here as I recall the other new words.

I am also going to attach a video of Holland the other evening. She had made an awesome song, "Roar goes the Lion" that had quite a few verses, but pretty much just said that over and over once I got out the camera. Oh well; still cute...

Busy days!

How can the month of May almost be over? How?! Time is going by much too quickly for my liking. Everyday seems to jam-packed with places to go, people to see... Holland is busy taking both ballet and swim lessons and her preschool ended last week. And, we often have playdates and I have been working at the restaurant some. I often feel like I am constantly rushing and hurrying my littles off to some other destination. So, the times that we can just stay and be are actually rather nice! I am feeling guilty because both today and last Wednesday we skipped swim lessons simply because Talin was still napping and I did not have the energy to rush off again. Ah well...

Lately everytime I look at Talin I am convinced he has grown even more. He is figuring things out so well and is a very silly guy. He found a pair of little sandles he had outgrown and insisted that they belonged on the counter in the kitchen in front of the sink today. If I tried to move them, he threw a little fit. Sit them back, he was completely pleased. He also has quite the hankering for throwing things away, or putting things in either the bathtub or toilet. It is pretty handy when he finds a small piece of paper and throws it away. Not so much for the wii remote that is now forever gone.

Holland's first little ballet performance is coming up in a few weeks. It is a little insane how her approx 3 min onstage is causing so much time and energy! She will be a catfish in "The Little Mermaid". She loves ballet and takes her dancing very seriously. It will be fun to watch the entire production but I won't lie; I will be happy to have the stress over.

I was trying to think of Talin's current vocab. Here is what I can think off the top my head:
go, bye, mama, dad, uh-oh, bubble, more, ball, snack, whee, hi, hello, nigh-night, peek a boo, book

I know he is saying a lot more that I am not paying enough attention to and not able to discern what it is... But, I know that he is definitely trying to communicate much more than we are aware. Up until about 2 weeks ago, he had the ability to say words but just showed no desire to talk much. It is so exciting watching him mimic us and repeat whatever we say. His snoring is totally adorable!

Ah, the changes in a month!

It has been a month of living in our new house. A month of walking around feeling like I am in a dream. A month of making dinners in my kitchen feeling amazed at the vast amount of storage and counter space. A month of my children happily riding their scooter and bike back and forth, back and forth. A month of listening to happy laughter (for the most part) from my two as they run and play outside. It has been a good month.

Sure there are still difficulties, but man, is it nice to have our place- and SPACE! And light! I really was just craving natural light. And this house is great. It may be small (1250 sq), but it honestly is the nicest home I have lived in my adult life. And it is so perfect for our little family.

And, we have now had our restaurant up and open for 2 weeks now! It makes life different for certain, and I am trying to have my hand in that while still being the main caregiver to my active littles, but it is good to be going.

Today was/is April Fool's Day. I explained to Holland what the "holiday" is all about and man did that girl have fun with it! Every 2 min- "mom!- I just saw a giraffe outside!- APRIL FOOLS!" It was fun. And then we tried to play a trick on Joe after he came home saying I went out running (in the pouring rain!) and left her and Talin by themselves while I hid in her room. She played off the prank so well!

Talin is changing crazy fast lately. Seemingly overnight, he is communicating so much! His vocabulary now consists of: bye or buh-bye, go, ball, hi, hello, nigh-night, uh-ohhh, mama, dada, sshh, yeah, and....? I feel like I am forgetting something! His non-verbals- he totally gets the whole head shaking "no" thing and has no problem using that. (ie- Talin- do you want a bite?" big head shake!- the kid almost never eats. And then about every 3rd day, he eats!!) And his new favorite trick is showing where his belly button is. And he can now show where his toes are also. He is so full of expressions and crazy adorable.

Oh, so much more to say. No more waiting a month to share, you hear!

Big changes

These past few weeks have resulted in some very big changes around here! To get off my most exciting news: we signed a lease on a perfect, little house and will begin moving in this weekend! Hooray! I Think it is just going to be fantastic for our family. It will probably be the nicest home we have ever lived in. And, with our stress level being high, and Joe going to be gone so much getting the restaurant off the ground, ah- it is going to be so great.

A really sad, but necessary change is that we have rehomed Modoc. I am entirely emotional about it. I was the one that was complaining relentlessly about him; being driven completely crazy with his barking and crazy antics. Yet, I think I am the one that misses him the most. He was not happy; he was cooped up, had no job, direction or outlets. He was grumpy and growled and barked, and snarled all day. He bit me twice in the last 2 weeks. It was so hard to do, but we found a new home for Modoc: the perfect home. He is living by a beach, with a fantastic couple and another corgi. He is doing fabulous. As Holland said before we made the trip to give him to his new owners, "You know, mom; I think Modoc is going to be okay. But, we are going to be sad." So true. Sometimes I think she is so wise for just four.

Talin continues to amaze me with all the little things he is learning daily. He is not terribly keen on learning a huge vocabulary quite yet, but I know that it is all in his head just waiting... His favorite word is still "GO"! always said with much enthusiasm. He will say "ball" on cue, but always repeats it at least a time or two "baw, baw, baw". He loves to tilt his head to match the direction someone else's head is, lean in and sweetly say, "hi". Melts my heart. He loves to do running hugs into me. I love it.

Nothing makes me feel so much love as seeing my two loving each other. They are wonderful siblings. I know I mentioned this before, but I just love it. Everyday Holland and Talin have a "Dance Party!". They go into Holland's room, turn on the music, run around each other, play with stuffed animals, making each other laugh and enjoy each other. Today, the dance party turned traumatic however. Somehow, while Holland ran out to get something to add to the party, Talin got locked in the room by himself. It is not a normal lock, and I could not get that thing open for the life of me. I called Joe all stressed out. And of course Talin is freaking out on the other side of the door screaming and crying. Argh. Finally!, I was able to use a butter knife to pry the door open. That better be the last time I have to do that!!

Well, this will be my last post from this little home. It has been a difficult year. But, there is a big light at the end of the short tunnel. Yeah!

sweet sleeping siblings

Well, not together right now, though nothing melts my heart more than when my sweet 2 sleep curled up next to each other. But, it is just after 8:00 and my 2 are both sleeping. I consider that a success! For the past week now, I have been following an actual bedtime routine and putting Talin to sleep in the playpen in Holland's room. And then Holland goes to sleep in our bed, but once asleep gets transferred back to her bed in her room. And although they both wind up in our bed again, at least it is an improvement. And when T is with me, he's actually sleeping! And is content to spend most of that time in the twin next to me. Big improvement!!

I feel like Talin has just grown crazy fast lately. I love how much he adores his big sister. And I love how much of the time Holland would rather do nothing but engage with her little bro. They have many screaming contests, and jumping shows and just PLAY. I love having happy siblings in the house more than anything. Sure, sometimes I hear "MOM!, Talin just ripped my picture, or Talin wants to eat my sandwich!". But honestly, lately- mostly I just hear lots and lots of giggles and belly laughs. And I can't help but join in.

Yesterday, Joe was going to take Holland to the store alone. Grocery shopping with Talin most of the time is just a terrible chore. Just not worth it. But, Holland needed to get out of the house and was going to go solo with dad. But she was just SO sad to be leaving her brother. SO sad! But, finally she relented if she could bring a picture of Talin. Then, picked out a picture of herself for Talin to hold while we were gone. And then she proceeded to pick out a picture that had me in it- for Joe, and one with Joe in it- for me. She really is a sweet girl.

Another sweet Holland-ism from the week. Holland declared she wanted a baby sister. Me, "well, I'm not sure how to give you one." Holland, "it's easy. Just love dad more and then it will happen." Ahh....

And with a snap, the holiday season has passed!

Today we took down our Christmas tree. And it's so weird to think that a month ago I posted on here and Christmas seemed so far away. But that is the way life goes. And it made me think of all the things that I so hope to have changed by next year. Oh, to give my children a real home of their own! And to think of my two as being 5 and 2 years old! Crazy.

But, back to the now. The entire Christmas Season was really nice. Holland got totally into everything and is just at a very excitable age. Christmas morning was especially sweet. Holland woke up and the first thing she said was, "I need to go see if Santa left Talin a present, because he's a kid, too!" And for about 30 minutes she got totally thrilled with everything she saw. And then my sweet boy came toddling into the room in his Christmas pj's with a big surprised smile on his face. And he loved it all. And it was fun having my parents here so they could see their grandchildren on Christmas morning.

And now, in a flash, it's all over. And in a mere 5 days it will be a new year! And quite honestly, I wouldn't mind flash forwarding to it, or 'er the 4th... I think that both Holland and I are eagerly waiting the holiday break for preschool ending. I think that all of this idle time is making her (and me!) go crazy! I am not at all prepared to deal with a grumpy, demanding kid. I cherish the sweet "You're my best friend, mom" and "You're the best mom in the world" and "I love my baby brother!!" so much, but I just wish they were the norm like they used to be. But this too shall pass, right?!

one day at a time

So, quite honestly, I haven't exactly been feeling entirely blissful lately. I am just stressed out about so much. Wondering if we will ever to provide our own home for our growing children and if we will ever get a business up and running. And that with feeling that we are bursting from the seams where we are (while we are totally thankful to have this opportunity...)it is all just wearing me a little thin. Add in a dog seemingly barks all day long and you get a completely frazzled mama that sometimes doesn't appreciate every sweet moment.

But on the happy news- I have a ONE year old now! Okay, maybe that isn't entirely happy as it does make my heart sad! How did he grow up so fast? Talin has totally changed our lives and I love him so much. He is not just walking, but practically running everywhere. He has such a silly personality and cracks me up. And oh how he loves his mama. All day long he runs into my leg and gives me the most perfect baby bear hug. Perfect in every way. So maybe he does throw almost all food offered to him without even trying it. And he hardly sleeps through the night (but as mentioned before- it's not like I have anywhere to put him!) and he is notorious for pulling his sister's hair and climbing in precocious places... I love this boy so much.

Talin is currently showing little interest in actual talking, but gets by just fine by mainly pointing at whatever he wants and just says "GAH". And it works. He will say "mama" and "dada" and lately we rarely even get a "hi" or "bye". But it'll all come in its sweet time. I'm not the least bit concerned. I love how he mimics Holland so much. And I love how excited Holland gets about trying to teach him new things. They can sometimes play for the longest time together. If they are both in the mood, they can play for hours! No tears being shed, just lots and lots of giggles. And that makes for a happy mama!

A good day

It seems that despite my children being in such a carefree, sweet time in their lives; sadly often Joe and I are stressed out about so many things that we can forget how wonderful these little people truly are. I say to myself that I would be able to enjoy them so much more if I just had x. But, then I remember that we don't, or at least not yet. So, might as well make the best of these perfect children we created. And when I do, everything seems just right.



Today both children woke up happy and in a great mood. Joe took the children out of the bedroom, let me sleep longer while starting to make breakfast. Holland came in about every minute and a half to be "Dr. Holland". She was set to "make me feel better" and made sure to check on me constantly. But, rather than being annoyed at it, I just relished it all. Seriously, she can be such a nurturing girl and I love her for that.



After a great breakfast (biscuits and gravy with a poached egg!), we relaxed and then I got on the treadmill and ran 5k for the first time. ever! What a great feeling that is. I'll be completing my first "race" on Thanksgiving day, and although I have yet to run outside it is nice to know at least I can manage the distance.



And another "yeah" of the day: The kids and I got to attend another Caspar Babypants concert! Woo hoo! For anyone not aware, Caspar Babypants is led by Chris Ballew- the lead singer from Presidents of the United States. Good music- good times! I'll post a video of Holland and her friends jumping at the end of this post.



And on to the little lion: he is growing up SO fast! Talin now walks almost as much as crawling. He seems to prefer to walk holding something really big; almost as though he enjoys the added challenge! His favorite thing in the world is to mimic his big sister- especially clapping, putting his hands over his head "yeah!", but most of all just screaming. He is terribly funny and even smarter. He loves to take caps off of markers and very intently concentrate to make sure he gets it back on. (then take it off again, put on, etc...) And man, does he get mad if I take it away from him! His body language definitely speaks out more than his verbal language. Most of the time it is completely evident what he wants just by his actions. And, that is a good thing! He really doesn't seem terribly interested in talking at all at this point. And, I'm hardly concerned... He definitely knows and says "dada" on a regular basis. We sometimes get "hi", "bye" and "mama" and that is about it. Still waiting to hear what cute thing he will first call Holland.

love and changes

As I type, this is how my babe is sleeping so sweetly in my lap. In another home, I'm sure he would be happily sleeping in his own crib, in his room. And honestly, I kind of wish we had that option for him. But, we just quite honestly do not have anywhere to put him! It wasn't even an issue when we first moved here- he was just a wee one at 4 months old. But now, only weeks from turning a year!, it is different. Luckily, most nights he still is happy to just nurse to sleep and sleep on my nap until I can get him into his bed in our room. (Holland goes to sleep in our room prior to being transferred to her own room. And, then slips back into our bed again much later.) Ah, but it won't be like this forever- right?! And, I should stop making it sound like I am complaining because then I will just be asking for advice. We are quite aware we made this bed we are lying in, and it works. Most of the time... :)(but it would be nice to have another bedroom!)

And with my random thoughts bouncing all over my head, I am having a hard time choosing which ones to put down... We had a good trip. A really good trip. The kids did fantastic on the drive even though they barely slept. (so out of character for both of them) We stayed crazy busy and I realized how many great friends we have in Boise. I just felt so much love from such amazing people.

And Talin is still not walking yet, but continuing to get closer everyday. I think he took 3 steps today! And he now pulls himself to stand even more than before. And he has started to crawl with his bum in the air and practically running on his arms and legs. Pretty cute! He mostly jabbers, but his favorite word is definitely "bubba". Bubba is Sue's cat, but, he uses that for any cat. Often any animal really. It is about as easy word to say as you can find, so it works. I do get called "mama" fairly regulary as does Joe get "dada". No word for Holland yet though I do look forward to see what that will be.

A million little thoughts

I am sitting here, the night before getting up super early to make a drive with just the kids back to Boise. I think it will be great for Holland to see her little friends she still talks about daily. And I am so excited to see MY friends I miss! And for Talin to interact with the little ones born right around the same time as him...

But the preparation stinks! I just go from bag to bag thinking of one more thing to add and never completing anything. I exhaust myself! And of course packing with two little ones who constantly need me- not easy!

I keep thinking Talin is going to start walking on our trip- we'll see! He is SO close. And tonight even took a few steps. In the bathtub!! He loves the bath and just constantly stands up, tries to take a step and splashes down. I guess it is nice that the bathtub is big enough for me to stand right next to him (and for his older sister to have plenty of room to play as well!)

And in other news- we have a four year old now! How on earth is that possible! Holland had a great birthday; starting with a super fun scavenger hunt to find mostly 50 cent beanie babies. And, I'm glad that we gave birth to a new tradition. Yeah!

There are so many little things that the kids have been doing lately that I should be writing down, but alas- no time tonight. Hopefully, we make many memories on this trip with no major meltdowns or anymore chaos than we are already used to.

Firsts...

It was a pretty big day around here. Holland had her very first day of pre-school. She has been terribly excited about this for months now. We were able to make it to some Summer playdates with other children from her school as well as meeting her teacher a handful of times and could not wait until the real thing.

She went to bed excited last night and woke up eager to begin her school day this morning. Right before we got out of the car she did say, "I think I might be a little scared." But she walked in looking proud and happy. She was a tad shy (as expected...) in the beginning but after about 10 minutes of settling in she gave me a big hug and didn't even look back to watch me leave. It felt weird!

And of course, it went totally fine! I wasn't the least bit concerned. I think she is really going to love going to "school" twice a week. I am really looking forward to helping out in the class for the first time in two weeks. It will be so entertaining to watch these little children's interactions.

And onto the 2nd first of the day: While Holland was in pre-school, I took Talin to a little one's story/song time at the library. It felt so strange but fun to just have Talin with me and doing something aimed (somewhat) at his age group. I also look forward to just coming home with him some days and playing, just the two of us. Or letting him take a nap while I read! Ah, that sounds heavenly!!

And the 3rd first of the day: Talin actually fell asleep completely on his own from playing in the playpen. He was tired, but I had just tried nursing and putting him down for a nap to no avail. So, I placed him in the playpen so I could get lunch made and he didn't seem to mind one bit. He played with his toys for maybe 2 minutes, laid his head down and fell asleep! Sounds so simple and ordinary, but this is so not ordinary in our household. And he even slept for over an hour despite the noise from his screaming older sister and the crazy, barking dog. Maybe he will start to do this more frequently. It sure would make it easy for me!!

And, before it leaves my memory forever, I need to write down something Holland told me the other night. I went to book club and came home around 9:30 and of course Holland had insisted on waiting up for me so that I could read her bedtime story. And she was (as she often is lately) just insanely sweet and loving. My favorite quote of hers she told me that night:" Mom, I love you forever and ever and I will never change my mind and unlove you. " So, since she has said that, we have told each other this to each other multiple times. She is a special girl.

a little stunt man and a growing girl

What a busy week or so! I feel like I really do not every have time to do anything right now as Talin is fast as lighning and into EVERYTHING! I know it has been 3 years since we were at this stage with Holland, but I swear he is just SO much more active! He can now stand up in the middle of the floor; and does every opportunity he gets. And now he has raised the bar and stands on anything he thinks will be a little challenge: the bed, the couch, a box, a chair, etc, etc. And he climbs! He likes to pull himself onto a basket that is on a rack we have and then just hangs. He can't figure out how to get down so he just screams. Comical, but scary. No steps yet, but I don't imagine it is too far away.

Holland starts preschool next week! Just twice a week for two hours at a time. But, I think she is really going to have a blast. I will be helping out a few times a month also and am really looking forward to watching her interact. She is really such a smart girl. I really have been pretty bad on working with her on little things. We talk about everything that goes on, but no pressure. (and she's still THREE! So, not a concern of mine...) We had talked about the sounds that letters make quite awhile back and then I just haven't... But, today in a 5 minute car ride she got down pat letters "H" "S" and "T". So, just after those few minutes I could say a word "horse, store, sunshine, toes" And she would know which letter it starts with. And even added some more words of her own. I was impressed. I suppose some children are reading at this age, and I totally believe she could be if we had pressed the issue. But, I am happy at her/our pace.

One of my favorite things that Holland says right now is "DAISY LIONS!" She calls dadelions daisy lions and always says it with so much gusto. She does know it is not the "correct" word, but just likes it; I do, too. And she has to run over and grab it when she sees one and blow it all over. I love watching her excitement. It's those little moments that make the crazy hectic life we live all worthwhile.

On the move

I feel like it has been a super busy week. This past week for 2 days we went on a little getaway- just the 4 of us. This was actually the first time we have taken a little vacation as a family of 4, just us :) And it was nice. We had a great time. We were in just a beautiful setting, in Whidbey Island, WA and enjoyed great weather and stayed busy! Holland loved going swimming, go karts, jumping on the hotel beds, and she actually said her favorite part was "hiking through the magical forest". Talin just loves exploring new territory and loved that. His fave was the kleenex. video:

And now in 2 days we will spend 4 days with Joe's family at an awesome house about 2 hours east of where we are. Holland is just looking forward to swimming some more. The girl LOVES to swim. I am a little nervous about Talin though. The boy is into everything. He is just SO fast. He can now even pull himself to a stand. I say he will definitely be walking before a year. Who knows though... He still is not saying any "first" words, no mama, dada, bye, etc. I kind of think he says ball, but it might just be coincidence since he likes to plays with balls and says "ba" all the time.

And Holland has said SO many laugh out loud statements this past week and I cannot recall anything off the top of my head! I am really going to be upset at myself in a few years. So, I am going to try to just have a notebook I keep around all the time! We'll see if I do better next week...

it's hard...and scary... and I don't want it to stop. ever.

This past week has been extra hard being a mama for some reason. But even at its hardest, I totally realize that one day I would give anything to relive today. So, I try to take comfort in that- even when Holland is breaking out in random high pitched screams and Talin cries the second I put him down even if I been holding him for x amount of time. But, I love them so...

And Talin scares the crap out me. Seriously. I don't recall every being overly scared about Holland choking at this age. And she didn't. She might have gagged here and there, but nothing to make your heart stop. This baby scares me so much. I am so entirely thankful for everyday with him because sometimes I don't even want to think about what my life would be like if I just wasn't watching him for 5 minutes...

He chokes all the time. I do not even give him food choking hazzards as I know that he can't handle it, but he manages to find something. Yesterday, he was in full sight and playing around while I folded clothes. I see his eyes get big, his face get red, no sound comes out and instantly I know what is going on. I run over to him, start swooping his throat passage like I am used to by now. I can't feel anything! I panic and seriously let out a wail. Such a scary feeling. Then he lets out a cry. So, I feel relief that maybe it worked its way down, whatever the culprit was... Then, he can't breathe again. I just frantically start swooping his throat again, and feel something adhered to his esophogus. I manage to get it out- one of the little tabs that sticks to a bandaid. (Holland is totally addicted to bandaids, so not surprising, but I had no idea that was around...) It was such a horrible,horrible feeling. I am beyond thankful to have my baby boy sleeping so sweetly right next to me. But, what if I didn't feel that? I just don't even want to think about it. And sometimes I seriously think I should just keep him in a little bubble for the next year.

crawling baby

Yes; as the title says- we have a full fledged crawling baby in the house! It really is so fun and I think that Talin is crazy proud of his newest accomplishment, as he should be! And of course- his favorite bee line- straight to Modoc's food and water bowl! The poor dog will probably not get many chances to eat and drink other than when we are out or Talin is sleeping for a few months.

And Talin can and does pull up on anything and everything! I just love watching the gleam in his eye as he pulls himself to a standing position in a place he hasn't before. He is just amazed with what he sees! And then comes the destruction! I swear this baby is so "boy"! He pulled our dvd player onto the ground in about .3 seconds today. ...something I am pretty sure Holland would have never done at this age. Ah, but I love this kid so much. He has so much personality, yet he is still just insanely sweet.

And Holland has also been super sweet lately! Seriously, sometimes I wonder how I lucked out so much with these fabulous kids. Tonight I went to book club. I was away from her for less than 2 hours. And while she was totally fine while I was gone, when I got home she just kept telling me how much she missed me and that she loves me soooo much. If I am ever in need of an ego boost- this girl does it for sure!

And Holland is taking swim lessons! This week is her second week. It does kind of suck because last week was awesome! There were 2 great young teachers and she got to jump off the diving board! This week though, there is only one young teacher so that means no jumping. Oh well...

Oh, and this past week the kids got to visit with Granny and Pop (my parents). Holland really had a good time and keeps asking when they will be back.

And tomororw I will post a video! And maybe more...